


I ain't no lady, but you'd be the tramp.

by tehdirtiestsock (thatotherperv)



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Coming of Age, Knotting, M/M, Polyfidelity, Sexual Identity, Underage Sex, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-07-24
Updated: 2010-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 06:24:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatotherperv/pseuds/tehdirtiestsock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a human Lady and the Tramp, with dog-like sex</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For [this prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/spnkink_meme/21800.html?thread=4996904#t4996904), which I’m paraphrasing into: _in a world where men are either alpha males or bitches, Jensen is a snotty prude who won’t let just anybody have his sweet little ass. Then he meets alpha male Jared. Sort of a human Lady and the Tramp, with dog-like sex_
> 
> So obviously, warning for um. Unusual but all-parties-human sex. Also, in a world where some men are built to be fucked, I imagine God was also merciful enough to grant them a self-lubing hole. So, you know. It seems like the kind of thing that I should give a heads up about, hahaha. (warning! lubricating rectum ahead!)
> 
> unfinished wip. there was kerfluffle over polyamory, and I got scared off. but hey, porn.
> 
> Original posting [here](http://cfamiliaris.livejournal.com/12861.html).

Jensen would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bitter about being a bitch.

Back in middle school, when all the girls started going into heat, he’d been sure he was gonna pop a knot. It ran in the family...his brother was an alpha, and so was his dad, and so was every other male on that side of the family, as far back as they knew. Somehow, Jensen had gotten genetically _screwed_.

And yeah, he wore the wrist cuff because that was the law in Texas. And because his folks were traditionalists who believed any bitch belonged on their back, like the Good Lord intended. 

But that didn’t mean he was actually gonna bend over. 

Yeah, he had a uterus. So fucking what? He also had balls, and this was the 21st goddamn century. There were plenty of chicks that preferred a guy like him...who didn’t want some asshole with more testosterone than sense. Than consideration. 

He was as big a stud as any knothead. 

And as soon as Jensen turned eighteen, he was fucking out of here. He’d head to Cali, where people accepted straight he-bitches like him. He could hold hands with his girlfriend without getting a beat-down, and some day, they might legalize marriage. 

He’d heard that in California, you weren’t required to wear any outward identification; that technically, it was illegal for anyone to even _ask_. People wouldn’t be able to tell what he was when he went out in public, and he could finally be free. 

In the meantime, he had to keep his ass safe from all these dickwads.

Everybody in town knew he waited tables at Dad’s restaurant, which sucked because every alpha in town knew they could come harass Jensen on the job...and that Jensen couldn’t tell them to fuck off like he usually did, because his parents were watching. The good news was that they refrained from grabbing at him because everyone knew Dad put a stop to that kind of thing, quick. 

That didn’t stop all the jerkwads at school from hogging a table in his section and making obscene suggestions. They all thought it was some kind of goddamn game. They’d be top stud if they could get Jenny Ackles to roll the fuck over. And then there were all the dirty old men who wanted to add another young bitch to their pack.

Tonight, Jensen had three tables full of high school kids, on top of a full house...and the makings of a headache. Dave fucking Boreanaz kept grabbing his ass, and he could get away with it even _here_ , because he was the goddamn golden boy. His skills as QB had made the Eagles State Champions, and around here, that put him on par with God himself.

The only thing keeping Jensen from decking him, and damn the consequences, was the knowledge that he’d been banging the guy’s girlfriend since the week they got together. He winked at Sarah, tucked under D-Bo’s arm, and smirked in victory when she blushed. 

If that asshole only knew. Rubbing Dave's face in it would be a great way to get bitch-bashed, but it still took everything he had to talk himself out of it.

He moved on to a new table before his common sense buckled. 

“Hey, what can I get you?”

“How bout a smile? Bet yours is killer.” 

Jensen jerked his head up from his order pad to look at the stranger sprawled out in one of his booths. His hair was longer than any man would wear around here, and he had a barbell through his left eyebrow. He had to be a...Jensen’s eyes dropped to the man’s forearm. Jesus, it was as thick as Jensen’s bicep. No cuff. No cuff, which meant.... When he’d finally finished gawking, he looked back up and saw the stranger was smiling at him, wide and white and dimpled. 

He kicked himself for acting like a hick and cleared his throat. “That’s not on the menu.”

The man’s smile didn’t dim. “Good. I’d hate to think just anybody off the street could come in and get served one.” Jensen was scrambling for something scathing to say when the man held out his hand. “Jared.”

Jesus, the guy had big hands. If Jensen wasn’t decently tall himself, they would swallow his up. “Jensen.”

Jared didn’t let go after they shook, and for some reason, Jensen didn’t make him. He just stood there, dry-mouthed and stupid, as hazel eyes skimmed down his body and came back up to the cuff on Jensen’s right wrist.

He stood there, stupider, as Jared reached out with his free hand and stroked along the edge of Jensen’s cuff til he had goosebumps. 

“I never did like these things.” Jared’s eyes met his, and Jensen blushed, though he wasn’t sure why. “But right now, I’m thinking they’re damned handy.”

Jensen yanked his hand back, and after a second’s resistance, Jared let him have it.

He’d fled all the way back to the kitchen before he realized his order pad was still empty. Shit.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Jared came into the diner every night for a week. He told Jensen, without being asked, that he’d just been passing through. Once he’d seen what the place had to offer, he decided to stop for some sight-seeing.

Since the only goddamn sight to see for a hundred miles was a field full of cattle and they both knew it, Jensen had tried not to squirm while Jared sat back and grinned at him.

He should have resented the guy for hogging a booth, but Jesus, he was huge. He filled it all by himself anyway. When he stood up, he had to be 6’4” even _without_ the lift from his battered motorcycle boots, and he liked to sprawl out, long limbs spread carelessly in every direction. 

Jensen figured Jared’s size was the only reason none of the local jackasses called him a bitch to his face. They certainly did behind his back. He’d never seen an alpha that looked like that, and neither had they. Jared’s hair was almost as long as a girl’s, and he wore all this jewelry—both his earlobes had more than one piercing, and he wore a row of hoops down the curve of the left one. His eyebrow, his tongue...rings on half his fingers and a collection of bracelets that, from a distance, almost mimicked a bitch cuff. Though it was on the wrong wrist.

Jensen honestly thought Jay would’ve been run out of town if he hadn't been built like a brick shithouse. 

He knew Jared was staying at the hotel just off the drag, because he’d seen the guy’s Harley parked there in the mornings. He showed up every day just after Jensen got out of school and hung around until closing. He couldn’t be accused of loitering because he ordered food almost constantly. And put it away, too. And while he flirted and teased and made damn sure Jensen knew he was in town to have him, he wasn’t grabby. He wasn't so much crude as...um. Complimentary.

All in all, Jensen didn’t know what the hell to think about him.

When the restaurant was busy, Jared didn’t try to command Jensen’s attention, like every other man in the place. He just pulled out one of an endless supply of books—and where did he keep all of those, travelling on a bike? Because some of them were banned for sale in this state, so he didn't buy them here. 

Jensen was annoyed to realize that even when Jared wasn’t trying to get his attention, he had it anyway. And from the smile Jared gave him when he looked up and caught Jensen watching, he knew it, too.

By the time Jared started getting a little more forward, Jensen wasn’t sure he _wanted_ the man to fuck off. He was different from everyone else Jensen knew.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

By the following Saturday, Jensen had stopped kicking Jared out with the rest of the customers at closing. Jared stayed while Jen did lockup for his dad, while he cleaned. Usually they talked about nothing in particular. Jensen never asked him outright all the questions he had, about who Jared was, where he was going, where he’d just come from. He’d heard other people try, and wget brushed off with varying degrees of animosity and evasiveness. 

Jensen felt kind of smug that Jared dropped all those details into conversation on his own, without him ever even hinting about it. Jared was raised not so far from here, though you’d never know from looking at him; he’d just been home visiting his folks. He’d lived out west since he graduated from high school. He was twenty-five now. Each of those things made Jensen jittery for reasons he couldn’t explain.

Tonight, he’d been telling Jensen all about living in Seattle. And how he was thinking of moving back to San Francisco to help a friend head the equal rights movement.

Jensen’s heart was pounding. He’d never heard that kind of stuff spoken about so openly before. Even though everyone in town knew how he felt about being what he was, they just thought he was a snob or a prude. No one knew what he really believed.

And here was this guy, an alpha, no less, talking like it wasn’t radical. Like it was simply common sense.

“Why do you even care?” Jensen kept his eyes fixed on the mop, too...nervous or excited or _something_ to risk looking up. “None of that is your problem.”

Jared reached out and snagged his elbow, startling him. For once, the man wasn’t sprawled back, but perched on the edge of his booth, eyes intense. “It’s _everybody’s_ problem. Your life shouldn’t be determined by the shape of your dick.”

It was hard to swallow past the lump in his throat. “Nice lip service. Didn’t stop you from sniffing around me like everyone else.” 

Jensen pulled to be let go, but the momentum backfired with one sharp tug that landed him in Jared's lap. He was pressed against Jared, back to chest, and he tried to get up but an arm locked around his waist, pulling him closer.

“I’d be most of the way home by now if you hadn’t sniffed right back.” Jensen could feel the timber of Jared’s voice vibrating against his ear, and he went all hot-embarrassed-horny when Jared’s chest expanded and he realized the man was _literally_ sniffing him. He’d know, just like Jensen did, that he was wet and receptive. “We’re not all the enemy, Jen.”

Jensen swallowed, throat thick with anger and uncertainty. His hips wanted to roll back against Jared’s dick, and that wasn’t...he wasn’t supposed to be like that. He could feel the bulge of it against his ass, and he whimpered when he realized he was already moving. Jared’s arm relaxed, and his hand started kneading, very high on Jensen’s inner thigh, to encourage the slutty little movement.

Jensen’s cock was starting to fill when Jared bit down on the hollow of his shoulder, and the moan stuck in his throat. He shuddered, conflicted.

Jared cupped him, rubbing Jensen’s cock with the heel of his hand. “You’re ok. Lemme just get you off, baby. Nothing but that." His hips jerked hard at the idea, and the soft brush of Jared’s lips against the marks his teeth had left. "Tell me if you want that, Jensen."

Feeling a little ashamed of himself, Jensen nodded and lifted his hips for Jared to push his jeans down around his ankles. He couldn’t get them over his shoes, so he was all bound up when Jared spread his knees. 

Jared was already working his cock, but Jensen’s attention was focused on the fingers sliding around the rim of his asshole. It _ached_ , and Jensen rolled his hips open, physically begging until Jared pressed his way inside.

Jensen bucked so hard for more, Jared had to stop jacking him off just to hold him in place.

“Fuck. Good fucking boy. God, I wanna give you my dick.”

At that moment, he totally could have. Jensen would have welcomed it. He was hot and slick and the two fingers Jared was using to probe around were making him crazy. He slumped down and worked his ass on them, and when Jared finally started thrusting, hard and fast and...Oh, Jesus, that was...Jensen dug his fingers into Jared’s thighs and rode the strange, aching pleasure.

Jared was breathing hard in his ear and muttering obscenities, but over it he could hear the squelch-squelch-squelch of fingers _in him_ and it wasn’t long before he was shooting a load all over his shirt and Jared’s arm.

Jared buried his fingers to the third knuckle and milked more out of him until Jensen was exhausted and shaking. And he left them there until Jensen recovered enough to push himself up and out of Jared’s lap, tripping over his jeans a little until he remembered to pull them up.

Jared was watching him intensely when he turned back around. There was a huge wet spot on his jeans where Jensen had been sitting, and he had one hand in his lap, pressing against a big erection and a bigger knot. 

Jensen couldn’t take his eyes off of it. “What, am I supposed to just fall on my knees and beg you to fuck me now?”

Jared stood up abruptly, and Jensen rocked back a step, startled. Jared was actually kind of scary when he looked pissed, and for the first time, it was really obvious that he was an alpha. It made Jensen want to show him his belly.

That really should’ve pissed him off. It should _not_ have turned him on.

Jared thunked something against Jensen’s chest and he grabbed it instinctively before he knew what it was. 

Huh. Motorcycle helmet. 

“C’mon. Lock up, I’ll give you a ride home.”

Not sure if he was relieved or disappointed, Jensen followed him out.

He didn’t realize that his ass was a little tender until he climbed onto the back of the bike, but he forgot about that pretty quick. Between the engine vibrations, the heat of Jared’s body, and being pressed up against him thigh to shoulder, he was horny again before they were a block down the road.

Jesus, men didn’t go into heat...right? What the hell was wrong with him?

He was focused on how easy it would be to slide his hand down from Jared’s waist and give him a good grope when the bike pulled to a stop in front of his house. When Jensen didn’t get off right away, Jared unpeeled his arms and all but shoved him off.

Jensen dismounted with shaky legs and took off the helmet, but when Jared reached for it, he held it away. 

Jared still looked angry. Angry enough to take off as soon as he could manage, and Jensen didn’t want him to go. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.... I was way off-base. I just...you make me—”

“You’re not,” Jared interrupted sharply. He looked away, a muscle popping into relief as he clenched his jaw. And then, softer: “You’re not off-base. The drive I feel to... _breed_ you is...Jesus, Jensen. I’m pissed at myself, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to slam you face-first onto a table and ream that pretty little ass til you go all soft and obedient. Can’t say I’m proud of it, but you weren’t imagining it either. It’s not you I’m mad at.”

Oh. Jensen stared, heart hammering away. He was still loose and tender from Jared’s fingers.

“You should do it.” ...who the hell said that? It _felt_ like his mouth moving. But Jensen’s body still throbbed in a really pleasant way, so maybe...maybe it’s what he wanted. He could feel his face heat up; if anyone from town found out, he’d never be rid of them. His throat clicked audibly when he swallowed. “Let’s...I mean, I can’t come to your hotel, but. My parents’ll be at the restaurant by ten. You can pick me up and we’ll go down to the lake, and....” His mouth dried up. He couldn’t even say it. 

Jared’s eyes looked really dark from the streetlight, and he was gripping the handlebars hard. “Don’t you have school?”

Jensen shrugged, embarrassed, on the verge of taking it all back. “Give me a good reason to skip.”

Jared gave him a hot look, head to foot, and he felt his tired cock twitch. “I’ll be here at ten.” 

He nodded like an idiot stumbled back a step, turning to go before he embarrassed himself. 

“...Jensen.” 

A finger hooked in his belt loop and yanked him back before he could flee. 

_Oh_ , Jensen thought when he stumbled into Jared. All that, and they’d never even kissed. Jared’s teeth scraped over his bottom lip and Jensen’s brain went to jelly.

Jared let him go and pushed him clear of the motorcycle. “See you tomorrow.”

Jensen watched him pull on the helmet and drive away. 

He’d be jacking off a lot before tomorrow morning.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Jensen had played hooky to go to the lake before, plenty of times. There was this one spot on the south bank that was shady enough to get naked and never get burned...secluded enough to bring girls here and never get seen. 

And still, as risky as that had always been for a boy like him, he’d never been as nervous as he was now, coming here with Jared. He was on his knees spreading the blanket Jared kept rolled on his bike and babbling god-knows-what...wondering what Jared was expecting him to do.

He was avoiding eye contact at all costs, which is why he didn’t see Jared coming before he straight-out tackled him.

It knocked the wind out of him for a second. Jared was pressing him down into the flannel with the full weight of his body, molded against him top to toe. His wrists were pinned by those fuck-off-big hands, and the second Jensen went lax, Jared’s knees spread his legs open, as far as denim would allow. 

Jensen moaned and arched up when Jared started rubbing his cock against Jensen’s ass.

“On all fours, waving that ass at me. Christ, you made me nuts.”

“Oh.” Jensen’s eyes rolled back at the way Jared latched onto his earlobe. They were still humping in a slow, grinding tease through their clothes. “S-sorry.”

Jared bit the side of his neck, hard enough to leave marks. He was panting against the spit-wet skin. “Do you...are you....”

“Uh, yeah.” Yeah, this was Jensen, _totally_ on board with whatever was happening. 

Jared squeezed down on his wrists. “Don’t move.”

He stayed still like a good little bitch—Jesus, what was _wrong_ with him—while Jared knelt up between his legs and pulled Jensen’s hips off the ground. As soon as his knees were under him, Jensen’s jeans were pooled around them and Jared didn’t waste any time sliding three fingers in his ass. He was already so wet that it was easy for Jay to fuck him open.

“Unh.” Jensen pushed back to take them deeper and swore when the fingers went away far too soon. 

Jared’s hand fisted in his hair and held him down against the blanket when he tried to rear up. He caught a glimpse of just enough over his shoulder to realize that Jared’s pants were down and he was already lining himself up to push inside.

It occurred to him, as Jared’s dick started splitting him open, that he never had gotten a good look at what Jared was packing. It _felt_ really fucking big. His fists bunched in the blanket at the not-quite-pain of Jared rutting inside. At the same time, his back was arching, needy for more until Jared’s groin was pressed against his ass.

Jared nipped his shoulder blade, hard, and straightened back up to pull all the way out...and shove in. Draw out, and thrust in. Long, deep strokes until Jensen felt the swelling of the knot at the base of Jared’s cock, and Jared buried himself forward, circling his hips in a slow grind to encourage it to grow.

It was good. It was good as it got bigger, pressing against the same spot Jared had massaged with his fingers when he came. But then it kept getting bigger, and bigger, and Jensen panicked a little. He tried to scoot away, but the pull hurt worse than the thing itself. Jared cussed and pulled his hips close again.

“Ssh, it’s...that’s all.” Jared’s hand stroked up his back. “That’s it, just....”

It was all white noise, like the knot in his ass crowded Jensen’s brain too, and Jensen groaned gratefully when Jared started moving again, short rapid thrusts rocking the knot inside in a way that made him see God. His whole body strained of its own volition, pressing back to present his ass for...yes, _more_ , more of that.

Jared braced himself against the ground and molded himself against Jensen’s back, rutting hard and pulsing come inside him. Moaning in Jensen’s ear and saying filthy things that made Jensen’s balls tight. 

“Christ, look at you. Hanging off my knot and loving it. Grab that he-bitch cock and show me, show me how bad you want this. Aw, fuck, that’s right.” Jensen’s body started to spasm as soon as he touched himself. So close to coming that it was kind of painful around the fullness in his ass. “We’re gonna...I wanna find out how many times you’ll lift that ass for me today, Jenny. For me. Gonna see how often I can pump you full of come before you scream _enough_.”

Jensen was still shuddering with aftershocks when he realized he was flat on the ground in a puddle of come. Both his, and from the feel of things, some of Jared’s, leaking out around the knot. He twisted to push Jared off and then realized they were stuck.

Right. This had never been an issue before. When he fucked with girls, he...this didn’t happen. It was a bitter reminder of who he was...but then Jared grumbled sleepily and rolled them over onto their sides, groping Jensen’s body in an absent, proprietary way. His hand slid under the hem of Jen’s t-shirt to find bare skin.

Which is how Jensen realized they were still fully dressed. He pulled his sweaty t-shirt off, and Jared clutched at him like a favorite teddy bear someone was trying to steal away. 

Jensen dug an elbow back into his ribs, and Jared woke up a little. “Clothes really gotta go, man. I’m hot.”

And it was way easier to concentrate on that than think about being attached to another person, ass to dick, because he’d done something he’d sworn he was never gonna do. 

Jared propped himself up to pull his own t-shirt off, but jeans were a little trickier. They had to toe their shoes off and kick their jeans the rest of the way down their legs. It was kind of ridiculous...but when they settled back in, there was a breeze coming off the water that felt awesome on hot sweaty skin.

After a while, Jensen didn’t even mind the furnace of Jared pressed against his back. He dozed a little, head resting on Jared’s bicep. 

 

He was roused, a little while later, by Jared nuzzling at the nape of his neck. That big hand was wandering, stroking aimlessly across his skin, and when he woke up a little more, he became aware that Jared was thrusting against his ass, carefully, to pump up the knot before it deflated enough to let them uncouple.

Jensen meant to express his ambivalence about this turn of events, but...it came out as more of a purr.

He ached inside but it was nice, actually. Lazy. And the way Jared was wrapped around him was kind of...Jensen discarded all the adjectives that came to mind, for fear of losing his balls. 

Jared nipped the curve of his ear, and Jensen rolled his hips back. “This is putting the horse way, way after the cart, but...I forgot to ask if you were on birth control.”

“Hngh?” Jesus, were they talking? Jared was fully knotted again, and Jensen could feel more come being pumped inside. It made him feel used and warm and good. He was starting to get hard again.

“Never mind, kinda late now,” Jared murmured. He pressed a kiss right behind Jensen’s ear, chuckling when Jensen squeezed down on his cock. “You like having my dick? God, I could stay knotted in you for days.”

Jensen tangled his legs with Jared’s and pushed back against his body in agreement. 

“Could be my greedy little come-slut, and nobody’d have to know. Nobody else’s business what a desperate little thing you are to be full up with me. Be our little secret, huh? What a panting bitch you are for me behind closed doors.”

Jared was jacking his cock and breeding him nice and slow for the second time that day. Fucked if it didn’t sound like the best thing in the world, to keep doing this forever. 

“Come to California,” Jared rumbled against his ear. “Come home with me. I think you’ll like Sandy, and I know she’ll love you. You can help us change the world, like I know you want to.”

He felt high. He felt warm and loose and amazing, and Jared’s words settled inside like a piece he’d been missing. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

“Good boy,” Jared murmured. The rock of his hips took on a coordinated rhythm, and they both forgot their plans for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

It was hard to show up for work that afternoon and pretend that nothing had changed, when it felt like _everything_ had. But Jensen knew it was for the best. In three weeks, he would be eighteen and they could leave together, him and Jared.

If Jensen’s dad found out this California hippie had fucked his son before then.... Well. It was best all around if they kept a lid on it til they were ready to blow town. 

It was risky enough, letting Jared stay after closing that night. Jensen’s dad was already suspicious; no reason to tempt fate doing stupid things where they could get caught. Jensen couldn’t seem to help that, where Jared was concerned. 

Jensen had just finished mopping the last of the floor, behind the serving counter, when Jared came up behind him and bent him over against the formica.

 _Stupid_ , Jensen thought to himself. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_. The lights were still on in the dining area and with the glass front facing the road, they were on display for anyone who might drive by. Folks turned in early around here, but this wasn’t the secrecy they should really be shooting for.

Jensen parted his lips to put a stop to this, but all that came out was a breathy moan as Jared chewed the cartilage of his ear and palmed Jensen’s dick through his jeans.

The three times they fucked by the lake seemed way too long ago.

“Jay, this is stupid. Bad—” His pants dropped, and Jared’s fly rubbed against Jensen’s bare ass. They’d ruined his boxers that afternoon, and he’d been late for his shift already...there was still a pair of come-covered shorts in Jared’s saddlebag. _Focus_. “Bad idea.”

Jared’s hand left his dick, and crept back to press behind his balls. Like he’d pushed a button, Jensen tilted his hips and spread his legs apart. 

“I’ll be quick,” Jared promised as he reached for his own fly. “We won’t tie. I just want—”

Jared sheathed himself inside with one stroke and immediately began the knotting grind, but Jensen didn’t call him on the lie, told to naïve bitches the whole world over. In fact, he rolled his hips in assistance, forehead dropping against the counter.

“ _Ah_....” Jared pulled out to the tip...the knot was already swelling, and it hurt more coming out than it would have going in. Jared laced their fingers together and pinned his hands down. 

“I know. I know, but it’s good from here on out.”

The head of his dick hit Jensen’s prostate, and he stopped wondering what the hell Jay was talking about. Or why he was doing this backwards, starting the long strokes of foreplay when they’d already been half knotted. He wasn’t inclined to complain, that was for fucking sure. Felt so good. Made him wet and horny, and eager to be bred. Stoked something deep inside til he was ready to beg for it. Beg Jared to bury that knot and get on with the main event.

How often had he scoffed at all those jokes, about priming a bitch into a needy, wanton mess? How often had he nearly come to blows when some jerkwad swore all he needed was a good, deep dicking to make him crave the knot? He’d figured it was urban legend, overdeveloped ego. Rank ignorance.

Apparently not. Because he wanted that knot like _breathing_.

“God, Jared.... Jay, _please_.” He wanted it _in_ him. He wanted _Jared_ in him, so what was the man waiting for? “Please...Jay, I want....”

When Jared slowed down, Jensen squirmed in anticipation. He was saying something, talking but Jensen wasn’t listening. Jared ground against his ass, and Jensen squeezed around him on instinct, rhythmically milking him to get what he wanted. Contracting harder when nothing happened.

“Jesus, _Jensen_ —” Jared sounded ragged, and Jensen could feel the steady pulse of come inside him. But he needed...why wasn’t.... He worked Jared harder, and a fist closed on his hair at the scalp, pulling hard enough to be painful. 

He stopped moving abruptly, eyes watering. 

“Listen to me for a minute. Are you listening?” Jensen tried to nod but the movement tore at him...he whimpered in pain, and was suddenly free, fingers combing through his hair gently and massaging his scalp. Jared’s voice was low. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. You just weren’t...I need you to listen to me right now, ok?”

Jensen opened his eyes, seeing Jared’s flushed face over his shoulder. Came back to himself a little, and suddenly he was embarrassed at his own behavior. He took a deep breath and propped himself off the counter on his elbows. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m listening.” 

“Okay. I told you we wouldn’t tie. It’s too late now.”

Jensen twisted around and stared at him for a minute, uncomprehending. He didn’t understand until he looked between them.

Jared _was_ knotted already. Just not inside Jensen. His dick was buried as deep as it would go now that the bulge was too wide to fit through Jensen’s hole. Jared had a loose hold on himself behind the knot, against his groin.

Jensen blinked. “What...I don’t....”

That wasn’t _possible_. He’d _felt_ Jared coming, and he’d been told all his life that alphas _couldn’t_ unless they...unless a bitch let them.... 

Jared reached out and brushed Jensen’s hair out of his eyes. “I forgot that around here.... Watch,” he murmured. His fingers tightened down behind the knot, and inside, Jensen felt him start coming again. When Jared’s grip loosened, the pulse of come stopped. “It’s called free-knotting. Or ringing. I can get you off and it’ll be amazing, but you need to stop trying to tie, okay?”

Jensen looked at Jared blankly, anger rising in his throat at the lie he’d believed. Half of what came out of an alpha’s mouth was BS, so he wasn’t sure why he was shocked. He’d been so stupid. 

He startled when Jared caught his chin, eyes soft and apologetic. “Or I can take you home.”

Jared was the exception; an alpha that didn’t pull that shit. “No. I want to stay. I just....”

“I get it. We don’t have to do this if—”

“Gimme...just....” Jensen turned and propped his forehead on his fists. Closed his eyes and pushed it all away. His dick had gone mostly soft, but inside, he still felt swollen and achy. Jay had come inside him, and he’d just be restless and irritable if they didn’t see this out. “Amazing, is that what you said?”

Jared’s hand slipped under the hem of his shirt and traced a path up his sweaty spine, more soothing than teasing. “Mhmm. Or so I’m told.”

Jensen swallowed, grinding back as the ache began to grow. He was stiffening up again. “So what are you waiting for?”

Jared gripped the base of Jensen’s neck and pulled out to the head, thrusting hard and fast before withdrawing slowly again. There was a natural buildup triggered in the bitch by this part of sex, and when Jared didn’t change up the priming strokes, didn’t bury himself inside, didn’t move past the prelude, Jensen’s state of arousal only grew. Jared picked up tempo, _fastdeephard_ , and it crowded all the thought right out of Jensen’s brain. Crowded everything out but the urge to _mate_.

Jesus, they were so wet together... Jared pumping come into him that leaked right out again with nothing to hinder it, and Jensen unbelievably slick with need. He could feel the combination leaking down his thighs.

He was panting, light-headed and dizzy. He was burning up. Jared literally worked him to a fever pitch, and he just kept getting hotter.

“C’mon, baby. Jen, let go. C’mon. C’mon.”

He was out of his head and past ready to come, but he _couldn’t_. He couldn’t...just, he _couldn’t_. And he was shocked to realize that Jared was already stroking his cock. It started to hurt—that’s why he noticed. It _hurt_ , it was _painful_ and Jensen scrabbled at the countertop, scrambled to get away. The wringing strokes felt like sandpaper, too much toomuch _waytoomuch_ , and he wasn’t...he couldn’t....

It was him that was making that sound. That awful sound. He tried to stop, and that only made it sound higher, choked, frantic.

Jared swore, drove in to the knot and pinned him down by sheer bulk, letting go of his cock _thankgod_ and forcing his head still against the countertop. Jensen flailed out one last time and was practically immobile, and like some switch flipped he went slack, exhausted and hurting. Jared reached between them, fingers sliding through the wet mess around Jensen’s asshole, and the skin was so sensitive there, hell, everywhere, that Jensen jerked and _keened_.

“Shh, I know, sweetheart, I’m sorry. So sorry, Jen, I didn’t....” Jared sounded ragged. “I got you. I’ll fix it, I’ve got you.” 

When he shifted _away_ , Jensen wanted to cry; that was _not_ going to fix it. But then there was pressure against his hole, a stretching. “Nngh. Wha—”

“Ssshh,” Jared breathed against his back, and something forced the muscle to give alongside Jared’s cock. “Trust me, just— _Jensen, be still._ ”

The sharp tone locked his muscles up, and when he stopped freaking out, he realized that this stretch was no more than the knot would be. His hips worked desperately, trying to make it enough, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t. It wasn’t....til suddenly—pressure, hard and steady and right where Jensen needed it, and Jared rocking shallow against him, coming in waves to the rhythm. Jensen strained towards something that felt within arm’s length for the first time tonight, but he couldn’t...quite.....

“Unnh....” Pressure from the outside, too, Jared’s knuckles working against the skin behind his balls, and Jensen’s breath got short, his eyes rolled back...and oh, oh, oh, he’d been building up so long—

When he came, it blew his damn skull off, cataclysmic, scary and consuming, and it left him just as devastated the moment it collapsed out from under him. Dead to all five senses, and any kind of thought.

 

They were on the floor when he re-entered his own body...he was sprawled in Jared’s lap, and his skin stuck to Jared’s when he shifted around. He was tacky with sweat and come for the fourth time that day, and too addled to care. 

“Holy fuck,” he groaned against Jared’s collarbone. Once you got past feeling hit by a truck, there was a bone-deep goodness that turned you into jelly. “Think even the German judge gave that a ten.” He was slurring like a drunk. 

He expected a laugh at that, half-delirious agreement, but Jared was silent, and still. And when Jensen lifted his head enough to look at him, oddly serious. He didn’t meet Jensen’s eyes, just stroked a hand along Jensen’s flank in acknowledgement. “Jare?”

“I think....” 

Jared trailed off, staring at the shelving behind the counter like it held the secret to life. Then he shook his head and didn’t say more. 

Jensen couldn’t find the energy to pursue it...didn’t care enough to. Anyway, it was nice...the quiet...and Jared....

He drifted, gasping awake when Jared prodded at his side.

“C’mon, Jen, wake up. I gotta get you home.”

Jensen didn’t want to go. He lobbied to stay a little longer, but Jared nudged him along, gentle but firm. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Jared didn’t show up the next day til the diner was nearly closing, and things had only gotten weirder after that. Jared’s smile had been a little forced every time Jensen came past his booth, and he kept catching Jay watching with this...look. This look that Jensen couldn’t identify, except that it was too serious to mean anything good. 

At one point, Jared’s cell rang, and he took the call outside, which he’d never done before. He was gone so long, Jensen almost bused his table. When he came back in, he was even quieter than he’d already been.

Jensen could think of two explanations for the sudden one-eighty.... Jared had pulled him aside when he first got there, explained that he’d driven into the city to go to a pharmacy, and pressed a bottle with three pills into Jensen’s hand that brought a wave of shock, of sick, when he read the label. 

Jesus Christ. He hadn’t even thought about birth control, the whole day they’d fucked like bunnies. He knocked back the first emergency contraceptive as soon as he got his knees back under him, kicking himself for not thinking of it sooner. Thank God Jared wasn’t your typical asshole, or he might _not_ have thought of it til it was too late. 

No elective abortions in Texas...or Oklahoma. Even the pills were hard to get your hands on, which was why Jared had driven into Austin.

Jensen wanted to blame the near-miss for the way Jared was acting, but he knew—in a way he couldn’t put his finger on—that there was something else. And he wasn’t quite brave enough to come out and ask: _do you regret having sex with me?_

He wasn’t sure what made him sicker—the idea that it might be true, or the fact that he was acting like such a little bitch about it. He couldn’t even pretend not to care inside his own head.

Jay stuck around after closing, much to Jensen’s relief. He’d half-expected him to seize the first chance to run out the door...because if he’d only come to deliver the pills, he was the kind of guy who’d feel guilty walking right back out. But staying after closing was...good. It meant something.

Fucking shoot him now, he’d really just thought that.

Even now that the crowd was gone, Jared was silent...which was worse than the whole evening put together. It was unnerving, being the focus of that same watchful attention when the diner was _empty_. And Jensen was used to doing mindless closing chores to the soundtrack of Jared. Now he was left trying to fill the space, with lame jokes that brought things up without bringing them up.

“By the way, if last night’s your idea of a quickie, we are _never_ having morning sex when I gotta be at work. I couldn’t believe the clock when I got home.”

He had his back to the room—to Jared—busy mopping the last of the floor. So intent on acting nonchalant that it startled the crap out of him when stepped backwards and bumped into Jared. Jay caught the mop handle before it could fall. 

Jensen didn’t miss the way he broke contact between them almost immediately.

“We need to talk, actually.”

Jensen’s stomach plummeted. 

Jared steered him towards the nearest table by the elbow, and didn’t say anything for a full minute after they sat. He just looked at Jensen. His eyes wandered off in thought, and just when Jensen was ready to snap at him _spit it out already_ , he took a deep breath and met his eyes directly.

“There’s no great way to get into this, so I guess I’ll just start at the opening you gave me. When we had sex here last night, it really was supposed to be fast. I didn’t expect...it turned out...you were....” He stared down into the untouched mug of decaff he liked to drink every night, rotating the coffee cup between his hands. He licked his bottom lip and settled back like he’d made some kind of decision. 

When he looked back up, Jensen was left hanging on the question of what he’d been about to say. 

“Fucking free-knot is a political statement for a lot of people in the rights movement. You’d think it was a recent invention—like there’s anything you can do in the sack that’s actually _new_ —but really, it went out of practice completely in the Western world when Victorian sensibilities took hold. It drastically reduces the chances of conception, therefore, it subverts the natural purpose of the act, goes against God, yadda yadda. There was a lot of propaganda that knotting keeps a bitch healthy, that they _need_ to get knotted, and being denied the knot will lead to all kinds of problems. Back in the day, it was like...hysteria and insanity, and nobody takes that seriously anymore, but modern wisdom holds that it can cause a whole range of physical illness...reproductive health mostly, but all kinds of things. Cancer, heart disease, I swear, I read a thing once with doomsday predictions about a spike in osteoporosis once the first generation of hardcore career women get to the right age.”

Jensen had heard people say stuff like that...he just always thought that the alterative to getting knotted was getting fucked, period. He had no idea that you could.... “Jared, what does this have to do anything?”

“I’m getting there.” Jared licked his lower lip again, and Jensen realized it was a nervous habit. _Jared_ was nervous. “Anyway, you go over to the rights movement, you’re hard-pressed to find anyone who doesn’t think that’s total bullshit. In fact, a majority take it one step further and view the knot as like...the root of all evil, you know? Like, in a world where everyone’s cocks were built like yours, we’d all be equals, patriarchy would never have been invented, and there would be world peace. Or something. I don’t buy it, but it’s the politically correct thing in that crowd to say you never knot, that you wouldn’t disrespect a bitch like that, etcetera.”

“But you do. Knot, I mean.”

Jared gave him his first honest smile that day. “Yeah, and I’m not the _most_ popular kid on the block for it, either. Men with knots are already persona non-grata with some folks already. But I’m not gonna lie, either. I like it. A lot.” Jared’s eyes probed his, and Jensen felt his color rise. They both knew that he did too.

Jared’s second smile was slow and smug and teasing. Bastard.

“Anyway, I don’t free-knot because I’m under the impression that it’s morally superior, or because it can be real convenient when you’re in a hurry. But the effect that it has on a bitch...it’s really fucking hot watching someone come apart like that.”

Jensen’s attention was dedicated to his hands on the table, because he couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Jared. He could feel eyes on him, and he knew he was still red. Any other day, he might have joked around or said, yeah, I remember. But all the talk of politics hadn’t made him forget that something was wrong. “Jared—”

“It took me an hour just to get you off last night, Jensen.” Jensen forgot about being self-conscious and looked up, wide-eyed. “Yeah. And you were...it’s like you weren’t even here with me anymore, and it didn’t seem all that pleasant. You were frantic and like...in pain. But when I tried to pull out, that just made it worse. And when you finally did come, you slept like the dead for almost four hours. I kept trying to wake you up to give you a ride home, but you were just...out cold. The whole thing scared the shit out of me.”

Jensen’s recollection wasn’t...quite that bad. But the whole thing was a little blurry, and he remembered being desperate, so he didn’t doubt it was true. “I thought...I thought that was just—”

“At first, yeah, that’s what you were supposed to feel like, but I kept expecting you to come, and you didn’t. And then eventually I got my head out of my ass, and I slid a finger in you alongside my cock, to put pressure like a knot would. You were shaking and almost crying, but you finally came.”

Jensen was silent, stuck between mortification and shock. 

“I should’ve thought of it sooner,” Jared said eventually. “I just...I had heard about this, about...certain circumstances where a bitch really _couldn’t_ come without the knot, but I didn’t really believe it was true. I guess, the cliché had to come from somewhere.”

Jensen’s stomach clenched. “But that’s not true for me. That’s not me. I never had trouble, not jacking off, not with girls....”

“Yeah, it’s not...it would only be a problem with me.”

“Only a problem if I’m getting fucked.”

“Yeah...well, no. Even if you were with another alpha, it wouldn’t...I mean, it’s _only_ with me. I think. I mean, if this theory out of Berkeley is right.”

Jared wasn’t really meeting his eyes anymore. He was pushing his coffee from one hand to the other, concentrating on making the liquid almost but not actually slop over the side. “And the theory is....”

“That this only happens when a bitch finds is perfectly compatible—biochemically...hormonally...biologically, what-have-you—with the alpha that’s breeding them. Sandy said that the professor who came up with it supposes this was a more common an occurrence when we all stuck in the same area, with people similar to ourselves, but now that we’re all mixed up, it hardly ever happens.”

Jensen’s chest was tight. “Jared, what the hell does that _mean_?”

Jared’s hands went still, and after a beat, he met Jensen’s eyes. “It means that, if she’s correct, you and I are...technically...that I’m your mate.”

Jensen waited for the punchline, but he didn’t get one. “People don’t even _use_ that word anymore, it’s like... _caveman_ thinking.”

“People stopped using it because it stopped being true. It stopped accurately describing the relationship, so they looked for other words.” Panic rose up a little in his throat, defying Jared’s reasonable tone until everything went suddenly surreal. He realized that Jared was watching him carefully, like he might bolt. That would be funny, if it didn’t sound like a damn good idea. “It’s biology, Jensen. It doesn’t mean we’re...irreversibly bonded or that you belong to me or that this isn’t something you can walk away from. It just means...according to Sandy, it probably means the sex is great and we need to be careful about birth control.”

Something penetrated the fog. Sandy...he’d brought her up more than once, now. “You talked about this? You called her and said, ‘hey, the bitch I’m fucking kind of wigged out last night. What’s up with that, because it was kind of a downer’?”

“I knew she had information that might explain what happened.” Jared’s eyes flicked to the side. “And she deserved to know if this was becoming...more.”

He’d cruised past the point of feeling anything but anesthetized, but there was a muted dread building in his chest. “Sandy is your best friend.”

Jared nodded. “Sandy is my best friend, who I married right out of high school.”

“She’s your wife.”

“She’s my wife. I was going to tell you after we left for California.”

“After.”

“I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

“The _wrong idea_.”

To his credit, Jared didn’t even touch that one. He looked like he was waiting for Jensen to explode...but mostly he was numb, and overloaded. He stood up.

“Will you give me a ride home?”

“Jensen—” Jared rose, and Jensen felt that gut-deep tug in his direction. Suddenly, being pressed against him with a vibrating machine between his legs seemed like a bad plan.

“Actually, I’d rather walk. Clear my head. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jared headed him off on his way to the door. “Jen—”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Hit the lights, I gotta lock up.”

Jensen could feel Jared’s eyes on him from his place by the door as he went about the last sweep of the diner. He didn’t look at Jared as he locked the front door, even though he was hovering really damn close.

“Don’t make a decision while you’re—”

Jensen spun around and shoved Jared back a step so they were far enough apart to actually breathe. “Are you seriously asking me for some kind of answer right now? Because I haven’t even had time to figure out what the question might be yet.”

Jared took another step back on his own. “Yeah, I guess not. It’s a lot to take in.”

Jensen snorted at the vast understatement of that. For Jared, it was probably a lot to take in. For Jensen, it changed damn near everything, a thought he shied away from as soon as he had it.

He started walking, glad when Jared made no move to shadow him. “See you tomorrow, Jared.”

“Yeah. You bet.”


	3. Chapter 3

He skipped school the next day. Walked all the way out to the lake, because he didn’t want anyone to see the car missing. Plus, he was less likely to get shit for skipping twice that week than he was for taking the car on the slim chance that his dad needed it. What did bitches need all that schooling for, anyway?

Nothing like a five mile hike in the rising heat of summer to work off the anger that had kept him awake all night, once the shock wore off. He was pissed at Jared for being a fucking liar and a fucking hypocrit, but he was more pissed at himself for being a fucking idiot. Some stranger comes to town and he forgets everything he ever knew? He wasn’t sure you could get stupider than that.

No, no, you could. You could get knocked up by the guy. But it wasn’t like he’d dodged that bullet himself. So he was about as dumb as you got.

He figured it should make him feel better that he apparently had an excuse. Instead it just gave him another reason for anger. Not only was he genetically fucked into being the wrong gender, he was _hormonally_ fucked into being a dumbass for this one particular person. Worse, he wasn’t even sure who to be mad at for that. The natural laws of the fucking universe? The bad fucking luck of finding the one alpha in…what…two billion, that he would feel compelled to roll over for? 

All the diners in all the shithole towns in all the world…he’d really like to see the probability. If he didn’t know it was likely to send him on a homocidal rampage.

He stripped off as soon as he got to the lake, and jumped in. It was early enough in the year that the lake was still cool, retaining the chill of winter even though the air was beginning to heat up. It leeched the heat of the long walk right off him.

After a while, it leeched some of the emotional heat too.

It had been a long time since he’d gotten this worked up about his lot in life, and there was a good reason for that. It was exhausting, and it was fucking useless. So he’d channeled it a while back into fueling his escape plan. Surviving high school, saving money, and biding his time til he could get out. He’d spent a lot of time, floating in this lake, daydreaming about what would happen when the wait was over. 

He’d decided not to take off on his actual birthday. He could, he wanted to, but his mom would want to celebrate, and none of this was really her fault. But the next day. The next day, he’d leave. No messy goodbye scene either. As much as he wanted to have that last fuck you to his father, his dad technically had the right to stop him, until Jensen got married or turned 21. Jensen knew if he just left town—if he left to go to school that day and never came back—his dad would be privately glad to be rid of him.

But if he gave him the chance, the bastard was just contrary enough to stop him from going.

Now, floating in this same water, he couldn’t think of any reason why that couldn’t still happen. The thought caused a flood of relief…and the more he thought about it, the more he wondered why he’d been so freaked out. 

He kind of wanted to laugh at himself for being a drama queen. Nothing was actually _different_. He’d been giving the finger to his own biology all his life, why stop now? Just because Jared triggered some…instinct, that didn’t mean he had to _follow_ it. He had a brain, for God’s sake, he wasn’t some dumb animal that couldn’t get past the urge to procreate.

It took some of the shine off that relief to realize that for the last couple days, he’d been exactly that. He hadn’t been thinking. If he’d bothered to engage his upstairs brain, what would he have concluded? That he was now willing to settle down, fuck like bunnies, and pop babies for the rest of his life? 

He was kind of startled to realize that on some level—some below-the-waist level—that was exactly the idea he’d been operating on. 

What the fuck.

But that had to be it. That had to be why he’d been upset about Jared being married. Right? Why else would he give a flying fuck? He’d never cared before, with girls. Single, taken…on one occasion _married_ after Kirsten’s parents held that shotgun wedding…it had never mattered to him. Most of the time, girls only felt safe being with Jensen if they had a steady alpha because that staved off any rumors. The whole system was designed to fuck him over, so it was his pleasure to fuck right back.

Meeting Jared shouldn’t change that either. It didn’t matter that he was married, because it was sex. Fantasic, biologically preordained sex, as it turned out, but it’s not like Jensen wanted the guy for himself. And, to be honest, it probably wasn’t Jared’s fault that he’d ever made that kind of assumption, even subconsciously. He’d asked Jensen to come to California, sure, but it wasn’t like he’d made any promises. Jensen was so used to the alphas around here being total cavemen that he hadn’t considered how different things must be, out there. Jared probably never even imagined that sex and an offer to take Jensen where he was headed anyway equaled some kind of commitment.

God, he was such a hick. 

He was gonna be a sunburned hick if he didn’t get out of the water.

He didn’t bother drying off before he stretched out on the blanket he’d brought…it always felt better when he had the luxury to air-dry. He’d miss this spot, but not enough to make up for all the stuff he wouldn’t miss at all.

Two weeks. No…God, where had the time gone? Ten days. Ten days til he was free. He’d been so wrapped up in Jared….

He could go on his own, but now that he was being clearheaded, there were advantages to riding with Jared. He’d save money, for one thing. On the bus ticket, and maybe even on a hotel room, if he could crash with Jared til he found his own place. His savings would go a lot farther if that was the case.

As long as he kept his head on straight, there wasn’t much of a _down_ side, really. If Jared really had assumed he knew it was casual, then he’d have a free ride and a friend in California. If Jared turned out to be a total dickwad, then he’d have a free ride and a clear conscious about using him.

And in between, probably, there would be some awesome sex. Who complained about that? It was harmless fun as long as he remembered that. Because at the end of the day, he’d be going his own way once they hit San Fran. Whether that pleased Jared or not.

~*~*~*~*~*~

He heard Jared long before he saw him. The sun was setting, but Jensen wasn’t ready to go home. He was already a couple hours late for work, and unlike missing school, he was bound to get in trouble for that. But he’d wanted a little more time before facing Jared, and once he felt ready, there was no point showing up halfway through when he’d get bawled out just as hard as he would for missing all of it.

He’d wondered if Jared would come out here when he realized Jensen wasn’t coming to the diner. Kinda hoped he would, actually, since he didn’t relish the idea of walking back to town.

Jared’s engine cut off nearby, but there was a prolonged pause before he heard Jared get off of the bike. Probably not sure of his welcome, and even after all the conclusions he’d drawn today, Jensen didn’t mind letting him sweat. When Jared finally approached, it was at a pace that gave Jensen time to say fuck off.

Jensen ignored him completely, staring up at the leaf canopy until Jared came into his field of vision.

Jared’s eyes flickered once to Jensen’s naked body, and then fixed on his face. It was probably mean to feel smug that it took obvious effort.

Jared waited for him to say something, and when Jensen didn’t, he gestured to the ground. “Can I sit?” 

Jensen shrugged, and continued watching the leaves shift while Jared settled himself in the dirt, next the blanket. But he saw, in the periphery, as Jared glanced at him a couple times before clearing his throat.

“You wanna…cover up, maybe?”

“I didn’t ask you to show up.”

There was a long pause. “Do you want me to leave?”

“I figure we have to talk eventually. But excuse me if I don’t go out of the way to make you comfortable.”

“Right.” Jared looked away, towards the water. “Sandy said I should tell you about her right from the start, but I’m not always smart enough to listen. She said it was underhanded and it’d backfire if I waited til I’d convinced you to come to California.”

“Smart girl.”

“Way smarter than me.”

“No argument there,” Jensen said flatly. “So why didn’t you listen?”

“I didn’t think you’d hear another word that came out of my mouth, after you found out.”

Jensen figured he wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t sure how that made anything _better_. “And then you’d’ve never gotten in my pants.”

“That’s not…I mean. Okay, I’m not gonna lie, because sleeping with you crossed my mind a few thousand times. But I told myself that could wait until you were able to make a decision for yourself.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew the wrong part of that pissed him off. “…Because I’m not capable of making decisions for myself right now? I’m, what, incapable of doing anything but falling at your feet, so you have to save me from myself.”

“Um…no? Not…exactly?” Jensen stood up and started yanking his shorts on, and Jared grabbed his arm. “Hey, wait, let me…Jesus, can I get through the whole story before you decide how pissed off to be? Please.”

“Fine.” Jensen dropped his shirt back on the ground, but he was too ticked off to sit back down, so he went and looked out over the lake. Jared was smart enough not to follow too closely. He leaned against the trunk of a tree about ten feet away, facing the same direction. “So, you were _not exactly_ saving me from my own poor reasoning skills. How did that work.”

“You reminded me of Sandy.”

That snagged Jensen’s attention, and he gave Jared a sidelong look, annoyed that Jared’s soft expression doused some of his anger. “How’s that?”

“Sandy and I were pretty much inseparable all our lives, which translated into dating once our hormones started raging, but the real reason she married me was…I mean, I was a way out. Her parents are really conservative. She’d applied to Berkeley without telling them, and when she got in…I mean, we both knew damn well that the only way her parents were going to let her move across the country was if she left with her husband. 

“At the time, it seemed kind of like a no-brainer. We were in love, so we were getting married eventually. My parents…well, I mean…my parents were always more open-minded, and I wanted her to have the chance to go to the school she wanted. We both thought it was the perfect solution, you know? Or at least, the best one that was available.

“We went, and got involved in the movement. It was mostly Sandy’s thing, since a lot of the players can be kinda hostile towards someone like me, but the way I was raised, I was happy to chip in where I could. But things got bumpy after a while. I mean, it’s just the way it is. You think you know how pissed you are at the current state of affairs now, but wait til you have all the freedom that you’re gonna have. And you learn all the things that you’re gonna learn. It’s a big culture shock, like. You think your ideas are liberal right now, but some of the things you just take for granted as true, growing up here, people out there will think your version of liberal is horribly backwards. Sandy started resenting the fact that she’d been forced to marry me just to live her life, and I mean, we almost didn’t make it.”

Jared went quiet, and when Jensen looked over at him, he seemed to be gathering his thoughts. “Almost didn’t make it. But things got better.”

Jared turned and met his eyes. “Yeah, we’re solid now. This was five years ago.”

“You’re happy together.”

Something shifted in Jared’s expression as he got what Jensen was saying. “Yeah. We are. Which is the other reason wasn’t gonna act on this. Sandy and I never wanted to add to the family.”

Jensen’s stomach swooped, and he looked away. It wasn’t rejection if you didn’t want it in the first place. “So what does this have to do with me?”

“That first day, you were so freaked out by the knee-jerk flirting Sandy always says I’ve gotta be careful with, and I saw the way you were practically holding off the other customers with a chair and a whip…it just reminded me of her, that last year when she was at the end of her rope. I figured that’s why I felt that little tug towards you, because you reminded me of Sandy.”

“Oh, I see, so your intentions were _pure_.”

Jared watched him, impassive. “Not entirely. And not at all, the more I got to know you, but I also didn’t intend to do anything about it. I figured if Sandy hadn’t had an easy way out through me, I would’ve wanted someone decent to help her get out of town, and keep his damn hands to himself while he did it.”

“You didn’t do so hot with the second part,” he shot back.

“No, I really didn’t. I should’ve done a better job of controlling myself, and I was so pissed at myself for touching you in the diner. But it wasn’t all me, Jensen. You were there, too.”

Jensen turned away from Jared’s frank look, hoping the blush would look like heat stroke or something. He’d asked Jared to fuck him. Pretty much straight out. It would be so much more convenient if he could pretend he’d been a reluctant participant, but that was bullshit.

“So the plan was, help me get to California, fuck me with a clear conscious, and let me get on with my life.”

“The plan….” 

Jared was quiet for so long that Jensen turned back towards him. He was looking out over the lake, deep in thought. “Jared?”

He took a deep breath. “The plan was to help you get established in California, and give you room to figure out what you wanted.”

“That was the plan when we met. Before you found out we were—”

Jared cut him off. “That was the plan, that is the plan, that will be the plan. Believe me or don’t, but it’s not subject to change.” Jared finally looked his way. “For me. Obviously we scrap the plan altogether if you don’t want to go.”

That was a no-brainer. “I still want to go.”

Jared nodded and they both turned away. Jensen was quiet, thinking. By the time he’d put his finger on what was missing from Jared’s story, it was full dark and he couldn’t see more than the outline of the man, nearly blending into the woods.

“The plan doesn’t take into account what _you_ want.”

He could hear Jared scuffling his shoes in the dirt. “Nope. It sure doesn’t. You ready to go home?”

He headed towards his bike without waiting, so after a minute, Jensen followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually meant to get all this info across at the end of part 2, but Jensen was too PO'd. just like I meant for there to be porn at the end of this part, but it became apparent that wasn't gonna happen, lol. I actually get frustrated when an author kisses it better too quickly, so this feels like a more natural course of emotions. I hope, anyway.
> 
> I generally don't like revealing where things are going, but I think it's fair to tell you that Sandy isn't going anywhere. But Jensen likes girls, remember? Remember how he wanted to move to California so he could be with girls? Remember how he thought he was straight? I'd actually feel kind of bad if Teh Cock was magic enough to make him forget all that :P
> 
> plus, I'm a whore for poly. sorry!
> 
>  
> 
> [aaannnnd, then I got spooked by how many people were pissed over Sandy, and I got writer's block. I might add another 'chapter' with notes on where I'd planned on taking this and some of the meta I wrote in the original posts' comments, but this is all that got written at the time]


End file.
